By Jo Ann Smith | Featured Contributor
Never a place one wants to be
especially alone
my lifeline confined to the parking lot
in a hurry they weigh me
no time to remove shoes
extra layers glasses ring watch
annoyed, my weight will be inflated
I am wheeled to a small sterile room
dominated by a single bed
intimidating medical charts are
thumb tacked in random order to lime green walls
I eagerly respond to you so I can lie down
an air conditioner blows cold
my breath is labored and shallow
an invisible pressure on my chest
more terrifying than pain
blood pressure high
oxygen low chest tight
scar on my left breast placid,
but ever present
a masked nurse,
I can only see her eyes,
knocks, but does not wait for an answer
pushes a lab cart through the door
I tell her I’m a “tough stick”
and ask if she’s the ‘A Team’
she may have smiled, but she pokes a needle
and misses a vein three times –
once in my helpless, bloodless hand
before the A team arrives
blood finally flowing I ask for a blanket
and am told I’ve put the gown on backward
‘it should open in the back, that’s why you’re cold’
embarrassed I wonder if they flaunt this knowledge
as a trade-off for kindness
one leaves
another arrives pushing a different cart
complete with tv screen showing blue blips
and grainy green graphics
a re-run loop of my heart
the antenna stuck to pivotal parts of my chest
I think how convenient
to have the gown open at the front
more tests, some repeated
but mostly waiting
for another knock
that ignores an invitation
my mind keeps bargaining
that my life has been rich
and if this is the end
so be it
but I am terrified
not ready
too much to repair
happenings not to be missed
a heart not fully opened
tears roll into my mask
I can’t pray
it seems so selfish to add one more plea
when God is clearly not coping
after six cold hours
colder still for my sweetheart
unplugged in the parking lot
I am discharged
poked prodded scanned
they think they know what it isn’t
“your doctor will call you
one more test
and we think we’ll know what it is.”
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Categories: All Poetry, Featured Authors, Featured Poetry
Wow Jo Ann this has so much imagery. I just got out of the hospital with pneumonia and this is waht happened. Great stuff
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Laugh the day away