All Poetry

A Search Within.

How do I know
the pill won’t seem
bitter to your tongue
through your teeth?

How do I wear
a once white coat
stained with tears
of memories?

How do I compel
my pen to write
scripts to fight
a dimming light?

How do I know
 which waters will flow
to unearth the strength
within me?

How do I persuade
a heart to let go
when it’s my hand
that sets you free?

How do I ensure
my smile won’t be
one of the last
that you’ll see?

How do I force
my ears to hear
a song I fear
of dusk so near?

How do I know
which waters will come
to enshroud the doubts
within me?

92 replies »

  1. Thanks once again for taking me with you on this moving emotional journey. I really liked this: How do I ensure
    my smile won’t be
    one of the last
    that you’ll see?

    Do you have any thoughts about why so many people die in that one fleeting minute their family leaves the room? It happens too often!!
    xx Rowena

    • Many people who know that death is imminent are holding on simply to be able to say their goodbyes and/or see everybody for the last time. In my very limited experience, I would suggest that when the family leaves the room, they know that they have completed their life and “let go”.

      • That’s a nice way of putting it. Some of the family members I’ve known have felt a bit cheated but I started noticing this pattern so I thought there had to be something in it. Thanks very much!

        • That is sad if they felt cheated because it would seem that they were putting their own feelings ahead of the dying person. They should understand that the dying person is waiting for an appropriate time to simply let go. Surely the dying person’s feelings come first?

          • I think they feel like they let their loved one down by leaving the room and not being there when the moment came.

          • We may never know, but I think that I would let go after seeing those dear to me for the last time. I don’ think that I would like them to see me die. No doubt it is all personal perspectives and preferences but, given that there is nothing anyone can do when the moment comes …….

    • Hi Rowena 🙂

      What Colin said makes a lot of sense to me. Unfortunately, my own experiences with death and dying have mostly been confined to the ICU setting, with those sustained on mechanical support (who are frequently awake and lucid, not comatose) desiring to be let go. As you can imagine, the provider plays a very different role here, and it’s a role that I always find emotionally conflicting and personally difficult.

      But I agree with you- what you describe does seem to happen quite often. But I would hope that the family would not feel ‘cheated,’ but rather at peace that their loved one has also reached the point of being at his or her own peace and can finally choose to let go…

      Best wishes, phoebe

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