Lovely psychosis poem by Skye EmersonAll Poetry

‘Lovely Psychosis’ – Directions for Survival [a poem]

By Skye Emerson | Featured Contributor

Once there was optimism to see silver laced clouds 
til the world shook on its axis and decidedly bowed. 
Psychosis (they say) is to go quite insane, 
lose touch with reality, but they never mention the pain. 
When all that is true breaks at the seams, 
life becomes survival, desperation and screams. 
Mistrusting your judgement since all you see is false, 
no more gut feelings to rely on, you’ve got to just halt. 
Buried beneath the weight of taunting monsters and more, 
the theories roll, there is no staunching it despite how you implore.

Eventually, the doctor will finally take note, 
through terror laced tears you sought out help and hope. 
The medicine works! That’s great, saves the day, 
the 50lb weight gain, well at least you’re not in a grave. 
Time will return that the world is no longer asunder, 
blessed peace will come back, beautiful and quiet as thunder. 
There isn’t much that the mind cannot do, 
it a remarkable system when it runs smooth. 

So if you find yourself in that darkest of nights, 
keep hold of your love and never stop searching for light. 

Psychosis is agony, there’s no hiding it, 
vulnerability is the solution though surrendering seems amiss. 
Give trust to those that care about you, 
seeing through their eyes might keep you from the thorazine zoo. 
Recognize, none of us perfection incarnate, 
schizo or not we all have a life to live well and stories to make.

Skye Emerson
Skye Emerson

Skye Emerson (aka Meltingneurons) is a poet, blogger, and a 34-year-old schizoaffective bipolar man studying philosophy and psychology. From 2017 to 2018, he spent nearly a year in a psychosis which eventually led to his formal diagnosis. His writing has been featured on Sudden Denouement, with an emphasis on expressing mental illness in artistic fashion, dealing with addiction, and creatively rephrasing the world around us. He aims to give insight to the world around about the inner turmoil and challenges facing those so often stigmatized at a time when they need love the most.

If you would like your writing to be considered for publication on Health + Inspiration, visit here for information regarding submissions.

14 replies »

  1. Really interesting response (not to mention some cool writing). I see fear of death as a healthy means to deter pursuing paths that lead to poor opportunities for health and happiness (though I struggle mightily with things like cigarettes). Are you suggesting we should embrace death as the end result of life and rush towards it?

  2. Give me a real purpose, I cry out, and it’s not enough simply to live
    nor that it’s a beautiful sunny day with colourful fragrant flowers!

    I’m tormented hourly by my desire for emotional, material and creative gain
    that ultimately matters naught, I explain. My own mind brutalizes me like it has
    a sadistic mind of its own. I must have a progressive reason for this harsh endurance!

    I’m warned that one day on my death bed I’ll regret my ingratitude
    and that I’m about to lose my life.
    I counter that I cannot mourn the loss of something I never really had
    so I’m unlikely to dread parting from it.
    Besides, my greatest gift from life is that someday I’m going to die.

    I’m further warned that moments from death I’ll clamour and claw for life
    like a bridge-jumper instinctively flailing his limbs as though to grasp at something
    anything that may delay his imminent thrust into the eternal abyss.

    Angry I reply how odd it is people bewail the ‘unfair’ untimely deaths of the young when they’ve received early reprieve from their life sentence, mourned by those who must remain behind corporeally confined yet do their utmost to complete their entire life sentence—even more, if they could!

    Could there be people who immensely suffer yet convince themselves they sincerely want to live when in fact they don’t want to die, so greatly they fear Death’s unknown?

    Oh leave me be to embrace and engage the dying of my light!

  3. Dr. Phoebe – thank you so incredibly much for sharing this piece. I lack the words to express my gratitude sufficiently and I truly hope this contributes to the general pool of knowledge and experience when it comes to this often stigmatized and scary topic. You are an incredible woman with a beautiful site and it is a true honor to be part of this. With endless thanks, and much love – Skye

    • Thanks so much for the encouragement, and I agree – laughing is the best medicine in oh so many ways, I try to find the humor in life as often as possible, 😉 Have a wonderful day

    • Thanks Joansanusi – regrettably, at the time of my onset psychosis the characters that featured most prominently in the delusions and paranoid fear were those that loved and cared for me most. It eventually cost me a marriage though I will always have an open debt to my ex-wife for literally keeping me alive and as safe as I could be, without her I would have been in jail or worse since I became 100% dependent on her as the fabric of my sanity fell to pieces. I took that lesson and wanted to share that knowledge of laying trust, even when it feels impossible,at the hearts and hands of those that love you if ever someone finds themselves in a similar situation. Love is the answer and a map to the road back from the darkest points of psychosis despite what your head may be telling you.

  4. I especially like “vulnerability is the solution though surrendering seems amiss”. and it is agony and pain, too. Yet, I believe something in us is able to handle it, when we do as you quote here., and choose to remain with the experience (we are in, anyway), no matter what. Through this, and only through this we win.

    • Beautifully put kounselling. Psychosis is scary, particularly where there are momentary periods that lucidity seems to return only to melt away into a loss of stable footing in reality once again. I’d encourage anyone out there that finds themselves doubting their mental grasp on the truth of events to know that it’s okay to be unwell and that there are answers. It can be a deeply shameful feeling to ask for help and say that you don’t know what;s real anymore (at least it was for me), but that vulnerability saved my life and can doubtlessly save others as well.

      Thank you for your kind words, I deeply appreciate the support and am amazed that Dr. Phoebe was kind enough to feature this piece from me. Much love.

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