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Spinal Con-fusion: A Poem by a Survivor

By John Gregory Evans | Featured Author

There remains
a deadened,
almost an anesthetizing
sense of dread
upon my fingertips and hands,
reaching deep into my leg’s nerves,
shattered spinal cord,
peeled away
as one peels an orange.

now a challenge,
con-fusion of the fusion,
cervical cord,
Ruptured and bruised,
arrogance of the humanity factor.

within the eyes
like lightning fingers
to the crown
of God.

At night,
now I lay awake,
not to pity myself,
but to personify the relevance
for the un-forgotten.
Accretion of gunpowder residues,
a controlled combat
chaotic state of mind,
Where courage lay found.

And I from self
to self-consumed,
in a rage of fright,
carries forth another day of exile,
deep with the soul-hunter’s night,

I discover my contribution
for a patriotic chore,
my final thought for Uncle Sam,

Lay claim to stating, no more, no more!

Author Bio


John Gregory Evans is a poet who writes from the gut, transforming free-verse poetry of his life experiences, good or trauma-related, and craft into art. His accomplishments include having authored a comparative paper with regards to Gian Lorenzo Bernini’s sculpture “Ecstasy of Teresa” and Eros in terms of understanding the differences among human espousal love as an ecstasy cooperating in a divine manner with Christ.

Evans lives in the Pacific Northwest with his wife and Shih Tzu named Paavo.

John’s Blog:

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13 replies »

  1. “personify the relevance for the un-forgotten…soul-hunter’s night”
    Great expression @johngregoryevans
    Looking forward to more fine poems!!

    • Hi Ana,
      It is a mystery is it not, phrases and words how they come to us. I think the mystery is where do they come from? I like to think this special place as soul. What are your thoughts on this? I would like to hear what you may have to say. Thank you for your valued comment. I am grateful.

      • Hey there!
        It most certainly is peculiar- how one manages to articulate their ideas in such an exquisite, yet subtle fashion. I am, infact, very often in awe of such beautiful expression :).
        To me these come from the deepest part of my heart, which knows nothing but honesty and that is the beauty of it, of how certain phrases and words can render us gratified!!
        P.S. It always is a pleasure dropping by a blog as amazing as yours.
        And thank you to you too for this intricately insightful conversation.

        • Ana, thank you for creating a wonderful conversation here. It pleases me to know just how humble you are. This becomes necessary to write well, and to write beautiful. I am excited and delighted you enjoy my blog. I will travel to yours and see your beautiful writing. Hoping er can chat a bit about this wonderful passion called poetry. Best!

    • Dear becomingandbeholding,
      Thank you so very much for such a constructive and positive comment. I do work from raw and hungry places within my life’s experiences as a former US Marine. Life does not always deal us a perfect hand, but to write of a trauma related injury through the power of metaphor and an allegorical landscape provides not only a safe-haven but a healing component as well. I am so excited you have come to appreciate this poet’s cause of verb and noun. Thank you so much and enjoy your day.

  2. Reblogged this on JOHN GREGORY EVANS and commented:
    This war-time casualty exemplifies the unnecessary acts of war throughout the global community, and the catastrophic effects war has in a trauma-related injury upon the human body. Thank you to all the doctors and surgeons who work feverishly to ‘put us back together’ again.

    • Judith, thanks very much for your valuable insight and comment for Spinal Con-fusion: A Poem by a Survivor. SCI’s do occur, and I have met one other survivor who also is a US Veteran. His injury, thus, more serious than mine, and why I wrote this composition. Between his struggles and my own I felt imperatives to poetically construct the realism from my experience. There shall be more to come regarding war-time casualties who do survive trauma and injury during combat scenarios. Pray for an end to all wars. Thank you for your comment.

  3. H.R. Phoenix, with gratitude I thank you. Any trauma-related experience in my estimation is worthy to note allowing our global community a rare opportunity to view the trauma first hand. I sense a needful directive to do so. It becomes our responsibility to note war is never the answer. Should you wish to collaborate further please do not hesitate to contact me. Many, many thanks to the owner of his site, Phoebe Chi. Thank you for your heartwarming response.

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