Tag: cancer

kintsugi linda M Wolfe story pancreatic cancer

Feeling Broken from Our Son’s Pancreatic Cancer Diagnosis: Linda’s Story

By Linda M. Wolfe | Featured Contributor


Have you ever felt broken? What are some possible scenarios which may make a person feel broken? Do you think it could be a frightening health diagnosis? Could it be losing one’s job or home? What about coping with the loss of a loved one? Could it be the loss of a relationship or a business? Yes, yes, yes, and yes. How many people do you know seem to lead a perfect life? There are quite few, if any, who have never had a factor which could potentially cause one to feel broken. It is part of being human.

Kintsugi pancreatic cancer story

The tipping point which threatened to shatter my life was our son’s pancreatic cancer diagnosis. All I could think of was the horrifically short life expectancies of people who have received this diagnosis. He had already experienced two years of symptoms prior to this. Our son was only thirty-one years old when he was diagnosed. It can be devastating to lose a family member, particularly from the younger generation. Initially, I lost my desire to eat and my ability to sleep. Pounds as well as hair began to break away from my body.

Continue reading “Feeling Broken from Our Son’s Pancreatic Cancer Diagnosis: Linda’s Story”

PhoebeMD Medicine Poetry Blog

Broken Womb, Shattered Soul: Living with Infertility (part 2)

By Barbara Leonhard | Featured Contributor


[Click here for Part 1]

Depression developed and flourished because I grieved so much over loss of fertility.

Women who are childless miss out on a great deal. They never feel what it is like to have a life growing, kicking and wiggling inside of them; to cry out during the birth of a baby (a rite of passage to celebrate with girlfriends); to watch over and even to grow with a child through sickness and health, all the milestones of birthdays, graduations, marriage, and the births of grandchildren. I have even grieved not being able to be the tooth fairy, help my kids find Easter eggs, read them bedtime stories, take them to the zoo.

Feeling apart from and not a part of the tribe still saddens me. I find I am left out of conversations about all those life passages women around me have. I feel I have little to contribute. I have attended and hosted many baby showers, but my mind always wanders to my losses, making it difficult to be fully present to the joy young mothers feel. Women form strong bonds with each other and share in all the rituals around birthing and raising children. I feel like an outsider at times, like I am more an observer than a participant in these sacred passages.

Continue reading “Broken Womb, Shattered Soul: Living with Infertility (part 2)”

The Hug.

Bitterness.
Each word, a slap.
Each consonant, piercing.
Bursting in like a winter’s storm,
you permeated into our lives.

We wanted to help you,
but we only came to fear you.
Many shook their heads in pity.
Some avoided you.
Others talked about you.

Contempt.
Each gesture, scornful.
Each insult, stinging.
My attempts to talk to you
only seemed to anger you more.

You terrified me. Yet I yearned.
To see. To know. To understand.

I knew you were frustrated.
Your disease, unforgiving.
Slowly devouring. 
I knew you were discouraged.
Your body, powerless.
Slowly succumbing.

But why wouldn’t you let us care for you?

Desperation.
Each day, the same.
Each encounter, fruitless.
You turned us away again and again. 
Until one day I confronted you. 
I asked you why.
And you told me.

I know you don’t really care. This is only your job. 

My job.

It all made sense.
The bitterness. The coldness. The distancing.
I understood.

Stepping forward,
leaving behind the pride, the decorum, 

my arms enclosed around you.
The fear escaping my racing heart
only after you made a move to wipe your eyes.

You then collapsed into me.
My shoulder, an insulation
to the sound of choked sobs.

You never said a word.
But in your cry I heard your anguish.
I heard desolation.
I heard relief.

Things were never the same after that.

Your bitterness was gone.
Your words, softer.
Your eyes, warmer.
You allowed us to care for you, 
remaining strong even
as your disease progressed.

Until one day, like winter’s snow, 
the seasons beckoned for you to leave.
But even then, as you faded away,
you reminded me of the day everything changed–

The day I gave you the hug. 

Hope.

“My life laid before me… my treasons my troth
Wrapped with transcendence in fine sacred cloth
My breath must surrender to cold mortal brew
As wildflowers bend neath pure morning dew.

And then there were angels
Filling the sky
Lifting me upward…

And then I could fly.

These are the words of a fellow blogger and poet.
Words that affect me more than one can know.
So I would like to use this post to thank him today
for being a glimmer in the night…and an inspirer of hope.

Because in our own way, we are all physicians.

He is Steven Michael Sanders,
‘Michael33’

I am asking you to visit him, 
because his poetry will enliven you,
and his story will inspire you.

♣ The Vision of Poets – His poetry blog ♣

♣ Vision of Hope 33 – A blog of his journey ♣

With Love, 

PuppyDoc