Anxiety. One word, four syllables—but carries such a heavy load for millions of people across the globe. Anxiety is defined as “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes.” As a young girl, I have always known that something didn’t feel quite right when: a) I felt faint whenever it came to public speaking, b) I hated the thought of confrontation, and c) I always felt nervous when it came to being around a group of people, etc. I never knew what it was until 20 something years later when my doctor diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder, aka GAD & SAD. I finally had a name for what I was feeling all these years as a child/teenager and into adulthood. Numerous factors contributed to me developing anxiety. However, in my early twenties, I battled severe depression, and If I ever lost all hope in life, it was those 5 years because those were my darkest mental days. As the saying goes, I wish that on no one because it was a very scary place to be in.
Have you ever felt broken? What are some possible scenarios which may make a person feel broken? Do you think it could be a frightening health diagnosis? Could it be losing one’s job or home? What about coping with the loss of a loved one? Could it be the loss of a relationship or a business? Yes, yes, yes, and yes. How many people do you know seem to lead a perfect life? There are quite few, if any, who have never had a factor which could potentially cause one to feel broken. It is part of being human.
The tipping point which threatened to shatter my life was our son’s pancreatic cancer diagnosis. All I could think of was the horrifically short life expectancies of people who have received this diagnosis. He had already experienced two years of symptoms prior to this. Our son was only thirty-one years old when he was diagnosed. It can be devastating to lose a family member, particularly from the younger generation. Initially, I lost my desire to eat and my ability to sleep. Pounds as well as hair began to break away from my body.
You would think that by the time we reach maturity, we would know how to make the way clear for ourselves… And yet, the patterns continue – the ones that face-plant us amidst the tangle around us. Those frustrating weeds of all we hang onto have pinned us down and left us feeling powerless.
Founded in 2014 by Dr. Phoebe Chi, PhoebeMD: Health + Inspiration (HealthInspiration.org) is a health information and literary arts website that aims to inspire, empower, and inform through a curated mix of essential health information, uplifting stories, and original poetry.