Have you ever felt broken? What are some possible scenarios which may make a person feel broken? Do you think it could be a frightening health diagnosis? Could it be losing one’s job or home? What about coping with the loss of a loved one? Could it be the loss of a relationship or a business? Yes, yes, yes, and yes. How many people do you know seem to lead a perfect life? There are quite few, if any, who have never had a factor which could potentially cause one to feel broken. It is part of being human.
The tipping point which threatened to shatter my life was our son’s pancreatic cancer diagnosis. All I could think of was the horrifically short life expectancies of people who have received this diagnosis. He had already experienced two years of symptoms prior to this. Our son was only thirty-one years old when he was diagnosed. It can be devastating to lose a family member, particularly from the younger generation. Initially, I lost my desire to eat and my ability to sleep. Pounds as well as hair began to break away from my body.
You would think that by the time we reach maturity, we would know how to make the way clear for ourselves… And yet, the patterns continue – the ones that face-plant us amidst the tangle around us. Those frustrating weeds of all we hang onto have pinned us down and left us feeling powerless.
Does it ever end? I’m tired of the inner turmoil I’m tired of being anxious the rollercoaster ride of emotions swirling and churning within old scars reopen past nightmares haunt doubt invades, fear paralyses silent screams that no one hears I keep building my wall uninviting, tall and proud but the façade is brittle weathered by the years I’m lost in despair unsure of who I am uncertain of how to change afraid of the road ahead
Diffused in haze, pristinely breezed dances springtime amidst the blooms. Misted rainbow on lingered frost caress of a promised hope.
Wishing everyone a lovely weekend and a safe today for a beautiful tomorrow.
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Founded in 2013 by Phoebe Chi, MD, PhoebeMD: Medicine + Poetry is a health information and literary arts website that aims to inspire, empower, and inform through a curated mix of essential health information, uplifting stories, and original poetry.