By Jeremiah Lin | Featured Contributor
I suffer from bipolar. Of the worst kind. Manic episodes. Severe psychosis. Deep delusions fully believing that I’m Jesus.
I will destroy my relationships. Make random connections with strangers. Come up with a million business plans to make a billion dollars. Empty my bank account and max out credit cards to “help” others. Give away all my earthly possessions. Isn’t that what Jesus would do?
I’ve made myself homeless. I’ve ended up in numerous mental hospitals. Had far too many run-ins with police officers. Most people, including cops, don’t understand the symptoms of mania. That makes me a perceived threat. Dozens of arrests. Spent several years of my life behind bars. Several times I’ve been brutalized by law enforcement. This last time nearly cost my life.
Continue reading “This Is Who I Am: A Glimpse into Jeremiah’s Story”
By Dre from Jerz | Featured Contributor
As a man in his early 40’s, coping with bipolar disorder and manic depression has been a major struggle. But through an open understanding and a willingness to learn, mental health issues can become manageable.
It all started in my late twenties. I was sitting on my twin-sized bed listening to one of my favorite hip hop CD’s. After a breakup with a young lady at the time and in between menial jobs, my mind was in a fragile state. I would play this particular CD on repeat from evening to morning. Not realizing it at the time, but internally I had snapped to the point my brainwaves shifted into an altered phase.
Continue reading “The Broken Mind: Living with Bipolar Disorder”
By Barbara Leonhard | Featured Contributor
Depression is a complex weave, and I have explored it in various articles on Phoebe, MD. The grief of watching my mom decline with Alzheimer’s and the grief of infertility. However, did you know that some symptoms of depression can also result from a diet high in sugar and simple carbohydrates, which in some people can lead to postprandial hypoglycemia (extremely low blood sugar after a meal)? This has been another life challenge for me.
Continue reading “Feeling ‘Hangry?’ – Hypoglycemia, Mental Health, and the Importance of Diet”
By John Gregory Evans | Featured Contributor
Life can be quite demanding.
One may find themselves trying to overcome childhood sexual abuse and jump from the frying pan into the fire by volunteering with the USMC during the Vietnam War from 1971 to 1972; subsequently, sexually molested by a mid-level NCO while serving active duty through Combat Training. As well, with combat related scenarios one may also be injured upon a field training exercise after three consecutive explosive blasts are detonated, hurling an M-60 spent cartridge to its potential target, a young seventeen – year-old male’s cervical spine, thus, inducing a permanent nerve damage that could potentially one day paralyze him from the neck down, including the larynx. Hence, my patriotic chore that led a confused, dazed, and mystified young man to serious suicidal attempts and further ideation. This continued for many years.
Will there ever be relief?
Will the suffering end?
The answer to this is yes. Give yourself time.
Continue reading “Suicide: A Personal Journey from Trauma to Triumph”
By Barbara Leonhard | Featured Contributor
[Click here for Part 1]
Depression developed and flourished because I grieved so much over loss of fertility.
Women who are childless miss out on a great deal. They never feel what it is like to have a life growing, kicking and wiggling inside of them; to cry out during the birth of a baby (a rite of passage to celebrate with girlfriends); to watch over and even to grow with a child through sickness and health, all the milestones of birthdays, graduations, marriage, and the births of grandchildren. I have even grieved not being able to be the tooth fairy, help my kids find Easter eggs, read them bedtime stories, take them to the zoo.
Feeling apart from and not a part of the tribe still saddens me. I find I am left out of conversations about all those life passages women around me have. I feel I have little to contribute. I have attended and hosted many baby showers, but my mind always wanders to my losses, making it difficult to be fully present to the joy young mothers feel. Women form strong bonds with each other and share in all the rituals around birthing and raising children. I feel like an outsider at times, like I am more an observer than a participant in these sacred passages.
Continue reading “Broken Womb, Shattered Soul: Living with Infertility (part 2)”
By Chris Reed | Featured Contributor
James Hillman told me
the demons will come
at night in old age,
and will settle
on my bed,
on my chest,
in my hair,
in my head,
in my guts,
and prod me awake.
Befriend them he says.
They are your demons.
They are here to help.
And know you are
enough worn with years
to be not afraid.
If you look them in the eye,
know you’ll soon be gone,
so don’t care what they think,
they will give you quarter
Then you can hold them close,
with sharp claws and teeth,
and comfort them.
For their torments are yours;
their shadows are your shadows.
Hand in hand in the night,
no one is afraid of the dark.
Continue reading “Hillman’s Demons: A Poem on Depression”
By Yamini Rana
Twenty months ago, I was diagnosed with clinical depression.
It was the beginning of June 2018. I was on a family road trip. At that time, it had been five months since I had moved away from home, to a well-known center for those preparing for prestigious high-end government exams…
Continue reading “Not Depressed: The Story of a Girl”