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You Are a Fellow Human Being and I Can See You

By Marija Eljuga | Featured Contributor


Living in London I cannot help noticing a few of the least fortunate of us, sitting out on the street and asking for help.

Do we give them the money or do we not? What good does it do? To us? To them? I have no suggestion as to an answer to these questions, at all. Except that we follow our own feelings as we choose to give or choose not to give. To support charities, to hand food or money directly? I don’t know.

i can see you inspiration Marija Eljuga

I see sometimes passersby dropping a coin or two while hurrying about their business, often possibly avoiding to look at the person whom they give the money to. I keep wondering if it might be possible—instead of just dropping the coin or a sandwich in—that we could also glance at this human being; for one second, a fraction of a second, to give them our full attention: You are a fellow human being and I can see you. A nod, a look that says it. You are a human being and I see you. You do exist. I can see you. I feel this would be the greatest gift we can give them. Without pity, judgment or intrusion into their psychological space, whatsoever.

A fraction of a second, you might ask? Yet if about twenty percent of us—of the crowd passing by—would take the trouble to do this, maybe the unfortunate fellow human being would receive enough space for themselves to start feeling that he or she can find the way to also stay present, give attention to what is troubling in themselves—and through this reach the start of their own healing process.

For what troubles us heals and eases out when we give enough attention to it. One little step at a time. Very gently. To observe each detail of the troubling element by consciously choosing to bring our attention to it – to what the story line of it is, how we feel, and how our body responds as we bring our attention to it. This is the path to heal even that which may have brought us to sit on the street.

For none of us knows what the future holds, but whatever it does, we can heal…

Marija Eljuga
Marija Eljuga

Marija Eljuga started her inspirational blog Kounselling three years ago with an aim of contributing to the growing mental health and wellbeing movement. She views this as part of the evolutionary process, a process in which we can consciously participate by becoming more aware of our body sensations, feelings and the cognitive aspect (the story line) of our traumatic and otherwise undesirable experiences, in order to grow through them. Her aim is to empower individuals and groups in this respect.


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17 replies »

  1. Thank you all for your very kind comments. Each comment I read and take in, many times. They mean a lot.

    The main point of this post is to say: let us stay present to what our experience is in this moment, of being human. For this heals us.

    Every human being suffers I am sure, from the homeless man/ woman on the street to the famous star or royalty. We make a difference when we choose to stay present, to fully experience what our experience is, by observing our thoughts, feelings and sensation of each minute experience we are in. To experience our experience in full, just as it is, is to heal.

    When we see someone who is clearly acutely suffering…, one moment of our presence together with them, may give them a sense they are seen, and thus They Can Be Seen. They are a human being in their own experience of being human, in this moment. Judgement of their situation or pity towards their plight in my view reduces our full presence.

    In many if not all of my posts I try in different ways, from different angles to show what this may mean.

  2. As a kid I am always being told that charity covers a multitude of sins.

    Its not wrong giving help to who needs it at all. But we should be careful about those who make begging their source of income because we not be helping them.

    I am also taught to believe that beggers have no choice, but in my country, I think they do….not joking

    My point is not to discourage giving, but sometimes we often neglect other charitable acts just like you mentioned in the post eg. A smiling face radiating hope in the faces of people we meet daily.

    We must not forget that not everyone who are suffering have given in completely to begging.

    There are some you may find in the streets selling petty items just for livelihood….you can purchase their products and leave a tip for them….that will be so charitable of you.

    I wish I could write more on this, there is a lot I have to say on my mind on this topic.

    But in all, thanks Marija for reminding me again of the importance of charity….

    -Much love

    Paschal.

    • Hi Paschal,
      I hope you don’t mind me saying this. It’s about the saying you were brought up with. The word “charity” is an old-fashioned Bible word for Love. 🙂

    • Thank you. Please do write… even just for yourself… I feel we learn a lot about ourselves from writing our thoughts and see them reflected back to us.

      • Bernard, sorry I didn’t realise you are an established writer and poet… my seem a bit condescending my reply above… I din’t realise, I am also completely new to PhoebeMD.

  3. I agree fully. I will give two examples. Both happened while out shopping with my mother. First event, we arrive at store one and there is a gentleman sitting outside on the sidewalk. He speaks, mentioning a hat I was wearing and of an old time movie star of which it reminded him. I stood and spoke with him for a few moments over old movies, hats and how times have changed then moved on. His eyes were brighter than when I had walked up, he never asked for money though it appeared he was in need. Second event, a different shopping center, as my mother and I passed I mentioned to her how my son-a mechanic- thought a certain decoration that was on a vehicle nearby was ridiculous. The gentleman spoke up into our conversation and discussed how he agreed with my son. We spoke for a moment and then parted. Again, his eyes were brighter as if feeling more gifted by the conversation than any amount of money. Among the tops needs of the struggling, is to be recognized as being human with the need for human interaction.

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